Surprising Grief Symptoms

Have you been having trouble focusing lately? Like, you pick up a book and make it 3 sentences in before realizing you have no idea what you just read? Or you forgot the one thing you needed to go to the grocery store for. Grief is probably the culprit. Some of the things you’re experiencing because of grief can come as a real surprise.

Feeling rage and heartbreak all at once? You’re grieving.

You want to be alone…but also want someone to see you? You’re grieving.

Can’t pray like you used to? You’re grieving.

Feel like you don’t know who you are anymore? Like you’re losing yourself? It might be your grief.

Feeling prickly lately? Like really irritable with everyone?

No energy or time for small talk, and your filter is gone? You say exactly what you’re thinking with no apologies? Yep, that’s grief.

Experiencing such a change in yourself can be pretty scary. But I want you to know that this is a season you’re experiencing, not who you are now. With time and healing, you’ll regain your focus, sleep normally again, and go back to keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Therapy is a great place to explore all the ways grief is impacting you. It’s a safe place to vent and come up with strategies for helping yourself through this time, when you’re feeling so unlike you.

Warmly,

Erin

Hiking with Grief: Trails Near Greenville, SC

Everybody needs beauty...places to play in and pray in where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul alike. -John Muir

Nature has always been such a refuge for me, in good or bad times. I know I’m not alone in this.

There’s something so cleansing and calming about being out in the woods. Sometimes the weather or landscape mirrors how I’ve felt inside, and that’s strangely comforting.

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? -Psalm 121:1

I could talk all about how new research is finding that being awestruck is a huge (and overlooked) element in healing, whether from divorce or grief. Being outside is readily available and very likely to produce the experience of awe. I could also talk about how hiking, walking, or running are forms of bilateral stimulation, an important piece in healing trauma from events like death or divorce.

Researched benefits aside, many of us find ourselves overstimulated and overwhelmed. This is especially true in early grief. Nature is a respite from noise, talk, judgement, suggestions, and the buzzing in your head that just won’t go away.

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. -John Muir

All that being said, here are a few places near Greenville where you can get out in nature.

Paris Mountain State Park

Conestee Nature Preserve

Jones Gap State Park

Caesars Head State Park

Table Rock State Park

Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity -John Muir

If there’s one thing you can do for yourself today, I recommend going outside. Try to schedule a time to hike in the near future.

Warmly,

Erin

How do you feel about your grief?

Here’s the human experience. We all do it. We have a feeling. Then we have a feeling about that feeling.

“I feel angry. I shouldn’t feel angry. Why do I feel angry? What’s wrong with me?”

We judge the feeling or ourselves.

Grief research shows that being hard on ourselves, judging ourselves for our feelings, can actually make it harder to heal. Think “I shouldn’t feel this depressed. I’m crying too much. It’s not OK for me to feel this anxious.”

So what can we do about it?

Reducing the negative self-talk and self-judgement begins with just starting to be aware of it. Get curious about your feelings. Try to accept them for what they are.

Here’s a helpful practice from Pema Chodron that only takes one-and-a-half minutes.

Acknowledge the feeling, give it your full, compassionate, even welcoming attention, and even if it’s only for a few seconds, drop the storyline about the feeling. This allows you to have a direct experience of it, free of interpretation. Don’t fuel it with concepts or opinions about whether it’s good or bad. Just be present with the sensation. Where is it located in your body? Does it remain the same for very long? Does it shift and change?

Try to notice the next time you have a strong feeling. What do you say to yourself about that feeling? See if acknowledging it and being curious about it feels a little kinder to yourself.

Warmly,

Erin