space for pain and healing on an unexpected journey
Grief
In person therapy for adults in Greenville
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
-C.S. Lewis
Grief comes in waves.
Why doesn’t anyone talk about how hard it is to lose someone? The confusing feelings that threaten to constantly overwhelm you. How you can be having a nice walk downtown when you see a couple, or family, and you burst into tears. It could be a smell, a song, an impulse to pick up the phone and call them. How did the world not stop when they died?
Grief is the form love takes after loss.
You didn’t expect grief to feel like this.
Part of the problem with death and loss is you are unprepared for the intense experience of grief. It’s not just feeling sad. It’s the whole range of emotions. And managing them takes up all your energy. It’s brain fog, forgetting things, inability to focus, buzzing in your head day and night. It’s intrusive thoughts and memories. Dreams. Did I mention fatigue? Or anxiety, panic attacks, loss of appetite, and not being able to sleep well? Because grief is all of that too. Did you feel sad or scared about the future today? Because loss impacts everything: what’s ahead, memories of the past, and how you make it through today.
There’s a strange embarrassment at feeling like you had no idea what was coming, like you’ve been caught off guard, like in all those happy moments, you should have known better or been better prepared.
-Amanda Held Opelt
How will counseling help me?
Grieving is learning. The trajectory for typical grief is healing and incorporating your loss into your life. You have to give your brain time to “catch up” to the reality that your loved one died. Attachment is an incredibly intense bonding process, the way we were created, to live and thrive with others. Death changes that relationship. Grief counseling can help you understand all of that better. Wouldn’t it be a relief to hear that you aren’t crazy? Or that really troubling, weird thing you’re dealing with, it’s actually “normal?” Sometimes you worry if you’re “grieving correctly.” This is concerning to you because you want to deal with your loss and function better than you have been. These are great things to talk about in therapy. You’ll find reassurance and information you seek. For some of you, though, your experience of grief has been a little more…unmanageable. Counseling can help if you feel confused or stuck in any way. It can also help if you’re dealing with traumatic grief.
To grieve that which is loved and lost is as essential to our survival as breathing.
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
Traumatic Grief
Traumatic grief can happen due to any number of losses: out-of-order death (like the death of a child), sudden or unexpected death, death by suicide, homicide, near death experiences, or intense medical circumstances surrounding death. In short, anything that traumatized you.
Do any of these symptoms sound familiar?
flashbacks, intrusive and disturbing thoughts or dreams, panic attacks, avoiding reminders of your loss, ruminating on the “what ifs” or “why” of the death for long periods of time, inability to function and fulfill your roles in daily life, isolating yourself, feeling numb or hopeless.
If this is you, there’s hope and healing for you too. You can find your way back to the healing trajectory. Therapy is a safe place to unpack the trauma of your loss and to learn how to cope and adjust. You’re ready to start feeling better. I’d love for you to reach out today.